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Review: Sweet Valley Confidential by Francine Pascal

Sweet Valley ConfidentialNow with this striking new adult novel from author and creator Francine Pascal, millions of devoted fans can finally return to the idyllic Sweet Valley, home of the phenomenally successful book series and franchise. Iconic and beloved identical twins Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield are back and all grown up, dealing with the complicated adult world of love, careers, betrayal, and sisterhood. 

If you had told me there was something worse than rereading the Sweet Valley High books and listening to how Jessica gets away with everything, I wouldn’t have believed you. Instead there is… this book. Why? Because once again, Jessica gets away with everything and gets her happily ever after, this time at Elizabeth’s expense.

A lot of the reviews I read claimed they were surprised by Jessica and Todd’s relationship in this book. That one is actually not a surprise to me, because there was a pattern of those two getting together behind Elizabeth’s back for years. But I realize, not everyone read the diaries from the girls. So it’s possible they didn’t know what was going on behind the scenes.

This book doesn’t fail because of that. It’s the fact that Pascal believes making Elizabeth cuss and drink all the time, makes her adult. Or that Jessica should say “like” like all the time. Actually, she even slips and starts adding like, like in a lot of sentences. (See what I did there? If not, then Elizabeth will just say f*** you.) No, it’s the length that Pascal goes to prove these girls and the rest of their former classmates are adults that annoys me. Jessica finds a job in a company ran by Lila’s father and is one of the executives in charge of several of the company’s divisions. And she claims she just as smart as Elizabeth. But come on, she’s frying up seaweed masks and eating them. That’s not really what they were made for…

The other issue with the story is Pascal’s constant need to jump back and forth between the past and present. This was unnecessary and proved to give me whiplash. Every chapter is filled with multiple trips to the past, most of the time they were from different points of view from the same scene. This is a prime example of how an author doesn’t know how to show you what they want to tell you. Also, none of these characters have matured. They’ve all become successful, but when you go to grandma’s 80th birthday and you have a “Shut up.” “No, you shut up” fight, which ultimately leads to every character cussing, you’re not showing anything except that your concept of maturity is clearly misguided.

If you didn’t know Pascal never wrote any of the books, this one will help you see the light. This was her attempt at once again beating the cash cow of a series that she didn’t even write. Her name may be on the book, but if you are expecting this book to resemble anything Sweet Valley once offered you, think again. This delusional piece of crap is so poorly written and truly misguided, that I’m embarrassed it was even published. The only thing she got right is Jessica is still a self-centered brat, who is deemed “well worth the wait.” I personally think she can go wait outside in the trash can. It is trash day after all…

Rating

Gold StarGold Star

Amazon

Pick up your copy on Amazon: Sweet Valley Confidential by Francine Pascal

About Kristine

As an aspiring author, avid bookworm, fitness fanatic and dedicated mother, there just aren't enough hours in the day. I write or post about things I'm passionate about and spend my time trying to make the most of every day. Life may be a tough journey, but I have my ruby red slippers and am content on skipping along this yellow brick road until the end of the line.

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