I suppose this is an ironic question. After all, I only still even slightly participate in Christmas for the sake of my boys. I’ve already spent most of my life with people forgetting me on my birthday (because it’s a few days after Christmas) and now, as an adult, it’s become clear I don’t muster much of a thought at Christmas either. Truth is, just receiving a Christmas card would be gift enough for me. Even if I knew they sent out dozens, at least knowing my name made one person’s list would make things a bit easier to swallow.

Urgh! The whole point of this is not to be sappy or host a pity party. So I apologize for that, but I can’t bring myself to lie about the frivolous things like gift cards, movies and books on my Christmas wishlist. Truth is, there’s only one thing in this world I want and I can’t have it.

My sons – Christmas 2007

The one thing I want for Christmas is to be able to spend it with both of my boys. My eldest son lives across the country and we can’t go home to see him. And he won’t come here to see us. I’d give anything just to spend the day with him, but I suppose things work out the way they are suppose to. So instead, I’ve been busying myself with trying to come up with some gift ideas for him. He’s a teenager and of course, a boy. So that immediately makes him hard to shop for. But I hope he likes the gifts I got him and that he knows his little brother and I miss him and love him.