I know it’s been a while since I last posted. Truthfully, sometimes I find coming to this page to be discouraging.
Not so much because I don’t wish to type about my son. Heavens no, that’s the furthest from the truth. But I have tried to keep from using this place as a means to vent about my frustrations about dealing with my special needs child.
As with all children, parents get frustrated, feel helpless and even lost from time to time. But as a parent of a special needs child, it’s only magnified.
Urgh… looking back at what I just wrote, I realize I hate that phrase “special needs”. Cameron is not a special needs child, he is a special little boy. He always has been.
I wish more people could have experienced Cameron’s earlier childhood. He was such a wonderful, calm and quiet baby.
I remember I had promised myself that I would do better with him than I had with Ty. I was 16 when I had Ty and lord knows, I was not the best parent. I was young, dumb and selfish. But with Cameron, I did the best I could.
Though none of us expected his father to be in the picture much, I still would work all weekend long (I was still in the Navy at the time) and then drive the three hours down to New Bern to spend my days off. And before you go thinking I’m blaming his father of anything, I’m not. We were young when I had Cameron. I was 21 and he was 20. He wasn’t prepared to become a father and unfortunately, they never built that bond that some father’s share with their children. Perhaps, if we had been older, things would be different. But neither of us were perfect and sometimes the best we can do at one specific time isn’t enough.
You know, I did everything differently with Cameron. I doted on him. My world revolved around him. I breastfed, despire the fact the very idea of doing so irked me out. I even made homemade baby food for him. I tried to keep him out of the sun (which is never a baby’s best friend, let me tell you), but I enjoyed making him smile and hearing him laugh.
Now, it’s his sixth birthday and I can’t help but marvel at this wonderful child. Yes, his disorder brings loads of problems for us to deal with. He acts out because his language delay leaves him so frustrated at time. Having a conversation with him is probably even more annoying at times, than speaking with a Parrot who’s been trained to respond with certain phrases. But he’s still the most loving child I have ever met. He loves to smile and laugh and though he’s still lacking in coherent conversational skills, he’s improving every day.
He’s starting to attempt to tell jokes and he acts silly quite frequently. There’s nothing more laughable than him telling you that you can’t go outside because your naked. When in all actually, he’s the one who is naked and you’re fully dressed. He loves to dance and is actually really good at picking up on song lyrics. Though he can’t stand listening to anyone’s singing.
And he’s so smart. He enjoys getting onto my laptop and typing messages to everyone. Of course, the concept of the space bar completely eludes him. But still seeing him type out random words always puts a smile on my face and from the impression I’ve gotten, it does the same to my friends.
I just let him on the laptop to demonstrate some of it for you. FYI, Holley is the name of the female car in Cars 2. He was getting a little frustrated because I turned off Micky Mouse Clubhouse to see if he’d type. He generally doesn’t like typing on here unless he’s sneaking on when I’m not looking. I’ll try and take some pictures later on this afternoon to post. I might try to take him to the park as a treat for his birthday.
Six years, Cameron and as hard as the bad times have been, I was blessed the moment you came into my life. I love you, my baby boy.