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Is there more?

Things are never as they seem and people so rarely look beneath the surface. This is something I have learned in my 26 years on this Earth and truthfully, it’s a sad fact to accept.

My faith in people is constantly tested and renewed, though not necessarily by the same person.

Sometimes I wonder exactly where my place is in this world. Surely, this… isn’t it?

I know that sounds awful, but I’m 26. I don’t want this to be it for me. I don’t want this to be all there is and sadly, I can’t help but wonder sometimes just what is left to explore.

I have:

  • Fallen in love
  • Had my heart broken
  • Made mistakes
  • Made mistakes again
  • Finally learned from those mistakes
  • Traveled the world
  • Made friends
  • Lost friends
  • Had children
  • Been married

But… honestly, have I truly done anything worth the air I breathe in daily?

It’s amazing, how in a world with over 6 billion people, you can feel so… alone. Truly isolated within your own head, with no one and nothing but the thoughts that you think to comfort you. That truly is a sad realization.

Will I be remembered? Truthfully, I highly doubt it. From what I have learned, if you don’t have anything to offer someone… they forget you exist. I know that sounds depressing, but truthfully, I just take it as a sign… I am meant to be alone. Friends are only relevant for as long as you have something to offer them. I have never met so many people who claim to be your friend and then the second you falter and can’t be perfect, they practically spit in your face.

I guess that’s not entirely truthful. I remember how high school was. How even some of my “friends” were only my friend to my face. So I guess that should just mean that it’s sad how as humans we never mature past being a teenager?

I fear for my boys. They deserve to have what I had when I was a child in Tennessee. We were poor, but I was happy. Things were never perfect, but what I would give to have that childish ignorance once more…

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About Kristine

As an aspiring author, avid bookworm, fitness fanatic and dedicated mother, there just aren't enough hours in the day. I write or post about things I'm passionate about and spend my time trying to make the most of every day. Life may be a tough journey, but I have my ruby red slippers and am content on skipping along this yellow brick road until the end of the line.

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